Wednesday, December 29, 2004 ;
7:38 AM
These few days were really hectic and exciting and i can't find enough strength to write into my blog. So here goes an account on what i did prior today. On the 22nd i returned alive from that amusing and exhilirating journey up and down Genting and personally speaking, i like to enjoy such a ride again, except with better safety features to assure my life. On the next day, it was a complete rest day for me, that journey up is quite exhausting and i think i was a bit sick too at that moment but lots of water really helps !! I drank like 6 1.5L bottle and i think i'm almost back to normal after that.
Well, i went to watch 2 movies that day : Phantom of the Opera and Kung Fu Hustle. The former show is just amazing although i admit the director has not done a really good job but i just loves the musicals. It was just tantalizing and i found myself indulging myself into them the next few days, singing along and be mesmerized by it. Well, one thing that is amazing is that whenever the Phantom sings his part, i could magically know what he is going to say next, as though as i know what he is thinking. I did say that the director had done badly and part of the reason to that is because he did not portray the Phantom symmetrically to his musical. I just dun feel anything at all but i understand him through the songs which somehow, operates at the same frequency with mine. Unconsciously, i understand what he is going through, the feelings of love and impossibilty, helpless in everyway although you had tried your best, prevented because of trivial and petty things that overcast the most important part, the love. Did i tell you that i was a bit unwell that day ? I coughed like nobody's business in the cinema and i think that everyone's enjoyment of the show had been spoilt. Oooo, i'm so sorry, especially to Jun who gotta take care of me.
Well, later i joined my sec school gang for a late evening Kung Fu Hustle. I kinda had missed that part where Stephen challenged the folks cos i gotta send the girls home. But oh well, it's nothing actually because as all his shows, they are always meant to be a silly entertainment. All the kicks and kung fu fights can be spectacular but it is not that that caught my attention in the show, it's the part where Stephen shows what love means to him. Love as i believe, should not be something where the whole world has to know about it. Love should be something where whatever we do, we do it because we love our partner and not to please the world to show both of us is a loving couple. Love is something where we support each other so we can both stand up tall and confident to face and enjoy the world. Love is where acts of love and of practicality rules, not the actions of holding hands or saying "I love you" at every moment to express the love. A love that relies on words are shallow but love that depends on actions are deep. Stephen, in the show had not uttered a word of love but showed it out instead. Taking the part when they were children, Stephen challenged the big boys to stop their tyranny but he failed miserably. The girl did not mind that he lost because the act itself had projected out its meaning and it is the thought that counts. (Stephen found out he could not control his life so he decided to rely on the Axe Gang.) Later when they meet up again, Stephen is the thief and the girl an ice cream seller. The scene where Stephen stole away her money and ran away, that scene is the scene where it's the girl's turn to express her feelings. Yes, she did let Stephen take away the money because he needs it but then that very scene had helped changed Stephen to be back to what he was. Stephen had joined the Axe Gang but at the defining moment he chose to help the old couple to defeat the killer.
This is what i meant by love is best expressed by actions where we support our love to become who they are to be, to become confident once again in themselves to take their life into their hands, to be strong and reliable to mould themselves into a respected person. To my eyes, any type of relationships that relies on words are doomed to fail and that is reflected in America where the divorce rates are highest in the world, all because the goverment portrudes a model family that has unconditional love and that strategy is sarcastically criticized in an article "Honey, I Shot the Kids" where the parents allowed their children indefinately to do what they want and give what they need until a time when the children bought guns with their parents money to experience the feeling of killing their the parents. They bombed out their house with artillery and shelled it with machine guns. The hitting part is when they had run out of bullets, their mother provided them with more money to buy ammo because the kids said 'I love you' when they asked. What the hell is this ? This is utter nonsense. This is just a disgrace. Okay, i gotten a bit out.
Personally speaking, if we find ouselves to be in a relationship where we cannot operate without the partner, even with normal things we used to do before we enter into that relationship, i believe it is time that we get out of it because it would only destroy either one in the end. We should become better when we are in one and not to depend on each other to live normally. We should still be who we are no matter we are an item or not. And one last thing i want to add before i close, people says that the strongest love is when we could die for our love but let me add this, those who commit suicide to express the love is insane and they do not know what that phrase means. Just say in a battlefield, you and your love are running from gunfire and you knew a shot might hit when both of you is exiting into a building. You lined up the rear so your love can dash inside first and in the meantime, you try to block the line of sight with your body. You wanted to make sure your partner is safe before you wedge in together to safety but at that instant when you know that it is your time to run inside, a bullet got you by the thigh and while you staggered, the other bullets found you. And you got a fatal shot.............................That is what the phrase means. The death is not caused by something that is inflicted upon ourselves but by the risk we take in our actions.
light my way ♥
